“It’s … not exactly that. I promise. Just …” I grab her hand in mine and give it a squeeze. “Trust me, it’s not what you think.”
She sighs but doesn’t pull her hand away. “We’re going to need to talk about this sometime, Roman.”
“You’re right. We do need to. Wewill.”
“Just not yet?” she questions.
“Soon. I need to work on some shit. I swear, I’m trying.”
I walk us backward to her bed. I just want to crawl in it and hold her in my arms. When I pull back the covers, she doesn’t protest. The minute we are under, I grab her and pull her against my chest.
Her fingers play with my chest hair—something I’ve grown accustomed to with her. It’s comforting.
“So, about tonight … you were out with Penelope.”
“There’s nothing going on with me and Penelope.”
She doesn’t respond. I run my fingers up and down her arm.
I feel the need to continue, sensing my words were not enough for her. “She told me she had run into you earlier. She thought she had seen some disappointment on your face when she told you we were going together.”
She cranes her neck and looks up at me. “Do you guys do that often?”
“We do. We did. It was easier for both of us. We are both workaholics. Finding a date was something we didn’t have time for. But there was never anything between us. I don’t see her that way.”
“How could you not see her that way? She’s gorgeous.”
I have to think about it first. I’ve never even given it a thought. “I guess I’ve known she’s attractive. But she’s too much like me. She’s cold. Bitter. Is married to her job.”
“You know, you say these things about yourself, but I see the exact opposite.”
“You bring something else out in me.”
Her fingers continue to move along my chest. “She was right. I didn’t like it when she told me. I was … jealous.”
I pull her closer to me. I love that she’s so honest. She’s so damn brave with her feelings. I envy that.
“I told Penelope we can no longer attend any events together.”
“You did?” Her voice rises slightly.
“I didn’t like the idea of you even second-guessing what I feel for you.”
The vibration of her laughter hits me suddenly.
“What’s so funny down there?”
“You”—she pushes her finger against my chest— “are one confusing man.”
I think about how I just freaked out about a joke of hers moments ago. Now I’m telling her I have feelings for her and won’t be attending any events with any women.
“I don’t know why you aren’t running for the hills,” I tell her honestly. “I’m one complicated guy. I’m not worth it.”
She lifts herself up and leans on her elbow, brushing her fingers through my hair. “I’ll decide who’s worth it or not.”
I place a soft kiss on her lips. She lays her head on my chest, and for the first time since we were together in Paris, I fall asleep quickly and sleep through the night.
Chapter Twenty-Seven