“But that’s just it exactly,” Abby said, jumping to her feet. “He wanted to be on a beach and instead, he got me pregnant and now he’s saddled—”
She broke off.
Not quite able to finish the statement.
Unfortunately, someone else did.
“Saddled with you,” Jordan said from the hall, a bowl of popcorn in his hands and hurt marring his expression. “You think I think I’m saddled with you?”
“Oh shit,” Heather whispered.
Abby’s heart sank. “That’s not what—”
“Dad?” Hunter called. “Is the popcorn done?”
He swallowed, glanced up the stairs and smiled. “Just finished. Be right there, but it’s probably only one more episode before bed.”
“Aw, man!” But his voice faded, his footsteps drifting back down the hall.
“That’s not—” She broke off again, took a step toward him, and stopped.
“That’s not what you meant?” he asked quietly. “You don’t actually think that?” His eyes were hopeful, as if he wished she’d just been spewing nonsense in the heat of the moment and none of it really meant anything.
She wanted that, too.
Except, she couldn’t quite bring herself to say that she didn’t mean it.
Because deep down, some part of her did wonder if he wished he’d ended up on that beach in the tropics instead of her working for his former company, their home just miles away from what had once been his office, their family growing by the year.
Maybe he wanted mai-tais and margaritas instead of leaking nipples and poopy diapers. Maybe he wanted his freedom instead of being tied to the school calendar and extracurriculars. Maybe he wanted to find someone who wasn’t a nerdy, sock-loving, pajama-wearing cow-equivalent.
Maybe he wanted more than her.
And he must have seen those thoughts on her face because he swallowed again, and it looked painful, even from the far side of the room.
“Jordan,” she began.
“I should get Hunter the popcorn,” he said, lifting the bowl.
She bit her lip but didn’t know what to say, how to make him understand this wasn’t about him.
It was her.
All her.
He held her gaze for another few seconds then nodded and disappeared. She listened to his footsteps on the stairs, disappearing down the hall, until finally, the bedroom door clicked closed.
“Shit, Abbs,” Bec said, breaking the silence that had fallen.
“I know you didn’t mean to,” Sera whispered, “but I think you hurt his feelings.”
Abby knew she had, and she felt awful about it. This whole thing was supposed to be about her and her messed-up head. Jordan had been nothing but wonderful and understanding and helpful and . . . now she’d hurt him, made him think that she thought that—
Fuck.
She needed to untangle this mess of thoughts in her mind and go fix things with her husband.
Now.