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“See those Xs on his hands,” Max said, pointing at me.
“So, if I scribble some straight-edged shit on me I can take a date to Church?”
“I have them so people don’t ask why I don’t drink.” And, when I first got them, to remind myself not to screw around when I wanted to let off steam.
“Yeah, I get that, but what does that have to do with me and Poppy?”
Hearing him put their names together broke something inside me. “Because I was never an addict, you fucking tweaker.”
“Outside,” Max said, grabbing my arm and dragging me out the door just as my one o’clock arrived for his session. “He’ll be right back,” Max shouted over his shoulder.
“Thanks for the great first impression with a new client,” I said once he released me.
He took a few steps back. That wasn’t normal. Max leaned into conflict, at least with me. He recognized, early on, that sometimes all I needed was a hand on my shoulder to calm down. Either he wanted to beat the crap out of me, or he figured whatever he was about to say would set me off. He looked up at the gray sky and took a deep breath like he was trying to channel the Holy Spirit. “You need to man up,” he said finally.
“What does that mean?”
“The way I see it, you’ve got two problems. Let’s get the easy one out of the way. You’re acting like a firstborn brat. Miacouldn’t stand Charlotte when we brought her home from the hospital.”
“Are you really comparing me to a three-year-old?”
“It fits,” Max said. “Mia’s anger was really fear. Fear that we didn’t love her as much. Fear that she wasn’t the center of our universe anymore.”
“She wasn’t,” I said with a shrug. “I’m sure that hurt like hell.”
“Spoken like an only child,” Max said with a laugh. “My point is, eventually Mia realized Charlotte wasn’t going anywhere. So, she adapted. She grew. Now she takes pride in being the best big sister she can. It brings tears to my eyes when I see her being so patient with Charlotte. And Charlotte tests that patience on the regular. Toddlers ain’t for the weak, man. But Mia keeps growing, keeps treating her the way she wants to be treated.”
“You want me to stop being a dick to Aries. Got it.”
“No,” he said. “I want you to recognize that Aries isn’t a threat. He can’t replace you. Not with me, not with anyone. And if you just took your head out of your ass, you’d realize you have something to give that kid.”
“Then why are you standing ten feet away like I’m contagious or something?”
Max seemed to deflate right there on the sidewalk. His shoulders curled down, and he stared at the cement instead of me. “Because what you said to Aries felt personal. To me. I know that’s not what you meant, but being an addict is something I’ll carry for the rest of my life. You judged him. And it felt like you were judging me. My temper threatened to get the better of me.”
“I wasn’t,” I said. “I—”
“Need to deal with your second problem,” he said, straightening. “Man up and tell Poppy you’re in love with her or step aside.”
“It’s not about manning up, Max. You know why I live the way I do.”
Max nodded. “For the record, I’ve never agreed with it. But it’s your life, your journey. I’d have let you stay in that dump upstairs another decade if Aries didn’t need the place. Sure, I wanted you to live somewhere nicer, but more than that I wanted you to stop hating yourself enough to want it. A better place. A better life. But you’re not just hurting yourself anymore, Theo. It stops being noble when your pain hurts someone else. It’s plain wrong. You’re better than that. So, drop the guilt and love that girl with everything you have or step aside so someone else can. Now get over here.”
I erased the space between us and pulled him into a crushing hug. He pounded my back a few times, cleared his throat, and stepped back.
“I wasn’t thinking about you when I said that to Aries,” I said. “I’m sorry, and I know it was out of line. I’ll apologize to him.”
Max nodded. “And for future reference, Aries was a pill popper. I was the tweaker. We’re both alcoholics though, so drunk jabs are a two-for-one.” He smirked, and I knew he’d already started to forgive me. I, on the other hand, would feel like a piece of shit for a while.
Max wiped at his eyes. “Client’s waiting. I’ll get him settled. Say what you need to say to Aries first. Everything you need to say.”
He walked inside without elaborating and ushered my client to the back. I shuffled over to the counter where Aries was laser-focused on neatening a stack of after-care sheets.
“I owe you an apology,” I said.
He nodded, still not meeting my eyes.
“And an explanation.”