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Brynn laughed again.
“You,” Rosalie accused, as though she needed confirmation, “are wildly in love with her.”
Tucker ran past their legs , Savannah following. It was clear by her eyes she’d heard Rosalie’s last sentence. Brynn gazed over at her where she stood at Rosalie’s side.
“Oh,” she said, “I am.”
Savannah blushed. Blushed. Rosalie was delighted.
After they’d gone their happiness seemed to linger in her house. At first it felt like a heat source she could cling to, the deep warmth of the love she’d witnessed like a little glow of fire. But then it sunk in that despite how inclusive and encompassing that love was, it wasn’t hers. Savannah didn’t need rescuing from this one. She was gone, in a way she’d never been before. Rosalie loved it, loved it, but the ache inside her grew nonetheless.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
As night began to fall and it was clear Cassidy wasn’t coming back, Kinsey put the car into reverse and headed to her apartment. Her home was quiet, dark, and cold, after weeks on the road. She’d stopped by the store on her way to buy a couple of basics, so she could cook up a bowl of pasta and eat some cereal in the morning. She cooked and ate on autopilot in her silent kitchen.
When Cassidy finally texted her back, clearly high as a kite on sex, Kinsey smiled to herself. She was desperately glad that Lane had gotten their shit together and that maybe there was a chance for Cassidy to truly get who she’d always deep down wanted. She knew the Cassidy she’d get back - the one with the extra bright sparkle in her eye and the bounce in her step - and she looked forward to seeing her again. There’d be no chance of more sparking between them anymore, and in a way, that felt almost relaxing. They could sustain their creative friendship now with so much less chance of screwing it all up.
Still, at the same time, Kinsey readied herself to be third wheel again. Soon she’d be sitting to the side as Lane and Cassidy mooned over each other, trying not to overhear their ‘I love you’s as they called each other every night on tour. She imagined the ache in her chest growing like a shadow, hollow and empty behind her ribs.
It was her own fault she’d never really cultivated close connections with either Franklin or Eliza. They all hung out, rehearsing, goofing around sometimes on the tour bus or for a drink after a show, but she’d never invested anything more. She promised herself she’d change that as soon as they got back on the road.
Kinsey flopped back on her couch with a sigh. Completely unbidden she remembered her most basic fantasy: Rosalie, relaxed and beautiful right here. She could almost see her, focused on her phone or a book or the TV, looking up distractedly at Kinsey, her mouth full of casual sass, making her want to kiss the hell out of her.
Rosalie was less than a couple of miles away right now. God, why did it still ache so much? There really was nothing like almost having someone to really send you into a tailspin.
She picked up her phone.
“Hey mom,” Kinsey couldn’t help her smile when her mother’s face appeared on the screen.
“Hi baby girl.” Her mom reached out her hand like she could actually touch her face. “How are you doing out there, busy being a rock star?”
“We’re having a quick break,” she said. “I’m at home, just for the night.”
“That sounds nice. How’s Cassidy doing?” her mom asked, propping the phone on the table in front of her at a slightly seasick angle. Cassidy had chatted with her mom so many times over her shoulder that they were practically old friends by now. Kinsey smiled.
“She’s great actually. Her and Lane just got back together.”
“Oh!” Her mom clapped her hands. “Wait,” she paused. “She made them grovel on their hands and knees first though, right?”
Kinsey laughed.
“I know they pulled out all the stops to win her back,” she reassured her mother.
“And how are you doing?” Her mother examined her through the screen.
“I’m good,” Kinsey said. Her mom squinted her eyes suspiciously. “I’m fine.”
“Stop pulling the phone away from your face,” she complained. Kinsey rolled her eyes and brought it back closer. “What’s wrong?” her mom said instantly.
“Ugh,” she said.
“Why are you crying?”
“I’m… I don’t know mom. It’s not that I’m…lonely exactly. I still have Cassidy, like I haven’t lost her. I just…” she trailed off.
“You want what she has,” her mom said.
Kinsey bit her lip. “Yeah,” she said. “I guess I do.”