KDBookOnline
Share Us
“Maybe try to do better.” Dylan’s voice was hoarse from the yelling. “And stop choosing to be a piece of shit.”
Once Dylan was back in his car, guilt hit. The guy clearly had an actual problem, and he felt like he’d kicked the guy while he was down.
When Dylan made it back to his parents’ house, Anderson and Brooks were on the porch smoking special-occasion cigars.
Anderson grinned. “How’d it go? He’s a great guy, right? You know I don’t swing that way, but ya gotta admit the guy’s like Ryan Reynolds–level hot. Right? Not that I’m into that, but I mean, everyone thinks Ryan Reynolds is a good-looking dude. Nothing gay about appreciating Ryan Reynolds, right?”
“Jake’s the only gay dude we knew, but he’s a stand-up bro, bro.” Brooks nodded vigorously. “Ran into him at a Caps game last spring and been trying to get him to be our goalie ever since. He does a ton of charity work on the side too. Best friends with his sister. Your type of guy, Dilly.”
After enduring several more Jake Murphy’s the best dude ever stories, Dylan finally opened his mouth to speak.
But Anderson interrupted him, his voice weirdly serious. “Felicity said you were alone all the time when she visited. If she’s worried about you, we’re worried about you. She said you hadn’t decided if you’d stay in California after quitting that job. Just wanted you to see you had options here. You had fun tonight, right?”
Their bizarre, genuine concern took away all the anger about what had happened during dinner. “Uh… sure. Don’t think I’m his type, but he seems like a nice enough guy.”
He never told them what happened.
Someone said Dylan’s name, interrupting the cringe memory spiral he was on.
“I’m sorry, what?” Dylan blinked away the memories to find Derek standing in front of him.
Derek was smiling. Dylan hadn’t seen Derek smile since Olive left, and Dylan’s chest hitched.
There was such a contrast between Derek’s smile and the memory of Jake’s. Both men were categorically and objectively attractive. But beyond that, there was no comparison. Jake’s had been all intentional charm and charisma; Derek’s smile was real.
“I said… Anderson, Brooks, Calvin, and Dylan,” Derek’s attention shifted to look at the brother’s each in turn. “So, your sisters’ names are—”
“Emily and Felicity,” Brooks said.
“Well, goddamn,” Derek chuckled but stopped when he turned back to Dylan. “You okay?”
Anderson shook his head. “Don’t worry about Dilly. He zones out sometimes. Always in his own head.”
The anxiety over what Derek knew about the date occupied Dylan’s thoughts as the five men carried loads of gear up to Uncle Sean’s apartment.
While prepping the materials and area to replace the joists, Derek and the three oldest Gallaghers bantered about workouts and debated which of the local gyms was the best. Derek fit right in with the other three. He was like the long lost “D” brother. Yet for the first time, that didn’t bother Dylan. Dylan liked that Derek fit right in. He didn’t feel left out or excluded. Something about having Derek there made Dylan feel less awkward.
Once the joists were in, Cal passed around Gatorade bottles his wife had sent over. They all stood in Derek’s apartment looking at the damage that would need to be repaired.
Quiet panic filled Derek’s eyes again. The same panic Dylan had seen when Uncle Liam was telling him the estimated cost. A strange impulse to wrap Derek up in his arms and tell him it would be okay came over Dylan. Maybe it was just because Derek stood much closer to Dylan than was necessary even given that all five men were crowded into Derek’s small kitchen.
Dylan retreated to the far corner of the kitchen pretending to check he had all his tools in his toolbox.
“Well, here’s hoping this is your rock bottom, dude,” Cal said, tapping his plastic Gatorade bottle on Derek’s as if it were a beer bottle.
Derek nodded and gulped down Gatorade.
Rock bottom. It triggered another flashback to the night with Jake.
That night hadn’t just been Jake’s rock bottom.
It had been an emotional turning point in Dylan’s life. He’d decided after leaving Jake’s house that he would not be someone’s rock bottom. He needed to stop thinking about himself like he was something broken.
In a way, Jake had been the reason he’d moved back to Maryland. While still reeling from the failed date the next day and needing a break from his family’s holiday chaos, Dylan had gone on a walk and fallen in love with an old stone house. A week later, Dylan was under contract and making arrangements for shipping his stuff back east.
He was still deep into renovations a year later when Jake texted him out of the blue. There had been a string of apologies and explanations about how he’d gotten his life together. Even a thank-you. Said he was sober for the first time since high school.
Dylan truthfully told him he wasn’t interested in dating. Fixing up the old house had become his whole life, and it was coinciding with getting his ADHD diagnosis and new meds and a fresh perspective. Dylan was healing from a life spent feeling broken, and he knew Jake Murphy wasn’t the right partner for that journey. Especially with all of Dylan’s trust issues with intimacy. It wasn’t worth the risk.