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She exhaled, tying a ribbon through the woven braids she had just finished. “Why is it so hard for you to believe the church is truly where my heart lies? Is that pagan blood of yours turning you against Christ?” she asked with a small smirk.
“No, I’m just looking out for you is all. This is a big decision and I just want to make sure you won’t look back one day and regret not having a family or a husband. I want you to have everything your heart desires. You can have a family and still serve God. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
Lily paused, placing her hands on either of my shoulders. “If I’m being honest, I have thought about that, a lot. Evan is a nice young man, and he could provide everything you’ve said. He’s even suggested what you are saying to me. But…but I don’t feel for him in the way I should. I don’t desire him or feel like I can’t live without him. He doesn’t create that flame inside of me that I hear the other girls in the square talk about.”
Lily looked away from my reflection in the mirror. “I’ve yet to experience that feeling and I’m unsure if I ever will. But one thing I do know is that I owe God my life. He has given everything to me. He gave me a new family, a safe place to call home. He gave me a purpose, and he gave me you.” She hugged me from behind. “For that, I will honor him with my life.”
I exhaled, nodding my head in the mirror at her. I looked at my hair as she finished, placing small flowers throughout the braid. She got a light blue scrap of fabric and wrapped it around my head, covering my ears in the process. “I almost look normal,” I said sarcastically.
“You are normal, dummy,” she said, pulling me from the chair. “Now let’s go have some fun today and no more talk of Evan.” As if he heard his name Evan’s head popped out from behind the door as a grin sprawled across his sun-kissed face. I smiled at Lily.
“I won’t talk about him, but it looks like you may have to,” I said, gesturing to the open door.
She turned around and smiled before hiding her reaction with her hands. Yeah, she had no interest in him, right, I thought.
I took her hand as we all headed out towards the street together. Before we left the holy building, I said a little prayer for Conner and Stefan, hoping they would stay out of trouble.
The square was jam-packed with people. The celebration brought people into town that lived on the outskirts of our settlement. Wooden stands were set up around the square where vendors sold fruits, vegetables, soups, elixirs; anything one could think of. The only problem was people in the area were too poor to afford anything but the basics. That didn’t prevent me from slipping my sticky little hands in and out of pockets, collecting a few coins on the way through the busy crowd.
We paused at the large rectangular stage that was set in the middle of the square where live music was playing. Couples and children danced in front of the musicians to the catchy beat. Nil and Kara rushed into the crowd, hand in hand, as they began to spin in circles, allowing the wind to catch their dresses with each twirl. Jordan appeared beside me; his face still heavy from his spat with Conner.
“You said the right thing today. He’ll realize it in time,” I said, trying to sound reassuring.
“Time is what I am concerned about. I’m worried he is going to do something stupid that will land him in jail, or worse. For heaven’s sake Gen, I was not that stupid at his age. I didn’t disrespect the people who cared for me. I listened and learned from them. He acts like I say these things to him because I hate him or something. Like I want to see him suffer,” said Jordan.
I reached out, taking his arm in my hand. “Just give him time. He’ll come to respect you, but he must make the decision on his own. Until then, all we can do is continue to try. He’s smarter than we give him credit for.”
“That’s the problem,” Jordan said, laughing under his breath.
A group of young women were looking in his direction. Though I couldn’t look at him in that way, I could see the appeal he had to others. He was tall with a strong figure and beautiful blue eyes. His hair was dark brown, and his skin was the color of caramel. I nudged him, nodding towards his admirers.
“Why don’t you stop worrying and go enjoy yourself,” I said, smiling at him.
He looked in the girls’ direction and smiled. “You sure? What about the others?”
“I can handle them. Now go, before I drag you to them myself,” I said, pushing him along.
He smiled back at me, softer than before. “Thanks, Gen. Try to have some fun too.”
I watched the girls giggle with excitement as he headed towards them. I shook my head, thinking of how stupid they all appeared. How desperate and clingy. All they wanted in life was a husband who would provide for them and give them children. They had no ambitions and no real talents. Nothing to rely on besides their looks. Maybe I was a little jealous if I was being honest.
I turned my attention back to Nil and Kara who were still spinning to the music. Evan and Lily were off to the side, enjoying a sweet cake and flirting with one another as if they were the only two people in the square. I stood alone in a crowd full of people, feeling like I didn’t belong. I wondered if I would ever find someone who could truly love me in that way. Like a husband loves a wife. Would they care that I was half alfar? Would my ears bother them? Would the thought of starting a family with me repulse them?
I pushed the thoughts out of my head. I wasn’t one of the stupid girls who only cared about marriage and children. I had ambitions. I had talents. What those ambitions and talents were, I didn’t have the slightest clue, but I would find them. I was more than this town. More than my blood.
I looked over to a group of children who were sitting on the curve of the street, watching as the people ate and danced around them. Two boys and one little girl, all under the age of five. Their little faces were dirty, their hair tangled; their clothes were too small for their bodies and torn in multiple places. They were too skinny, and I could tell they weren’t fed regularly. I searched for their parents, but they were nowhere to be found.
I moved through the crowd, slipping my hands in and out of the people’s pockets until I had enough money, then purchased three sweet cakes. I went to the children, who looked up at me and backed away as they peered into my unique eyes. Smiling, I knelt beside them slowly and reached out my hand, offering the cakes up. Their little eyes widened as they inhaled the aroma of the dessert.
“It’s okay, I bought them for you. See, one for each of you,” I said gently. They took the cakes and ever so slowly each took a bite. Their bodies exhaled in relief as the food filled their bellies. The little girl looked up and smiled at me before taking her second bite. I watched with a heavy heart as they enjoyed something that they never should be denied…food.
A young woman frantically rushed over. “There you three are! Where did you run off to? Haven’t I told you to stay near your father or me during the celebration?” She touched each of the children, making sure they were still in one piece before looking at the cakes and then at me. She seemed curious, as if she wanted to ask why, but didn’t allow the words to escape.
“You have beautiful children,” I said.
She gave me a small uncomfortable smile, looking into my eyes and then at the ribbon that covered my ears. My eyes were unique. When humans peered into them, they always questioned what I was. I was sure the rumors of the half-breed that lived among them had scattered to the nearby settlements.
“Thank you and thank you for the cakes. What do I owe you for them?” she asked hesitantly.