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“I know,” I whispered.
“You should never have been born.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “How are you still alive? Why did the humans not turn you in?”
My heart broke a little at his disappointment that I was not disposed of the moment my mother discovered I had been conceived. I realized that I had begun to care for Gaelin, regardless of our circumstances. It hurt like hell that he wished me dead. That he didn’t seem to care enough for me to overlook my DNA.
“My village loved my mother,” I finally replied, willing myself to speak. “She was a healer. I suppose as a tribute to her, they overlooked my paternal side. I don’t believe my father knew about me. My mother never told me about him.”
Gaelin stood silently for another moment, processing my situation. Without taking another look at me he headed for the door. I rushed after him, stopping a few feet away from him as he reaches for the doorknob.
“Gaelin!” I shouted.
He stopped, but did not turn around.
I search for something to say that would make this better. That would save my neck and get me out of this, but all I could manage to say was, “I’m sorry.”
Gaelin’s head tilted, but he did not turn around, nor did he say a word. He flung the door open and was gone a moment later.
I didn’t sleep that night. I waited, listening for any sound of the guards coming to take me away. I had failed. I failed Lily, my family, and myself. I was foolish to think an alfar could ever come to care for a half-bread like me.
Somewhere in the early hours of the morning I must have dozed off from sheer exhaustion. I awoke to the door latch snapping shut. I sprung to my feet, reaching for the iron poker near the fire place. I turned, ready to fight my way to my own execution when I saw Gaelin, standing at the door. No guards, no weapons in sight. He assessed me, looking at the iron poker and then to my face.
“I’ll help your friend,” he said without feeling.
Relief slammed through me as I lowered the poker. “Thank you,” I whispered. I looked at the door and back to him, unsure of what he had decided to do with my life.
“You would sacrifice yourself for a human? Why? What makes her so important?” he hissed more assertively than I had ever seen him.
I took a few moments to clear my throat and then my head. “Because I love her. Because I am all she has,” I whispered. I waited, but he didn’t reply. I was tired of waiting. I needed to know what was going happen next. “Are we going to the king so he can dispose of me?”
His eyes snapped to mine. The hard, stern alfar soldier slowly melted away. His eyes filled with pain as he shook his head.
“No, you’re not going anywhere. And no one else is to know of this,” he said, taking a step towards me.
Uncontrollable tears began to run down my face. My breath shuttered as I tried to hold my emotions back. I gasped for a breath to help calm me. “I don’t understand,” I was able to get out. “Why?”
In another breath, he was in front of me, staring down at me with those beautiful golden eyes. “This,” he said gesturing between himself and me. “I have never experienced anything like this before in my long and lonely life. I have been with both alfar and human females, but I have never longed to know someone, to be near someone like I do you.”
I smiled and a laughter erupted from deep inside of me. I felt relief and even happiness to know that he didn’t want me dead. He wanted me to live.
“Gen,” Gaelin said, in a serious tone, reaching down and taking my hands into his. “This game that you are playing. This position you are now in is dangerous. And by me not saying anything, I am going against my vow. Against everything I am.” I could see the conflict in his eyes. I reached up taking his face in my hands.
“I am so sorry that I have put you in this position,” I said, and honestly meant it.
“This isn’t your fault. You did not ask for any of this and you can’t control who your parents are. And if I am being honest, I find you absolutely perfect, just the way you are. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, including these,” he said with a smile as he gently stroked the edge of my ears.
A smile erupted across my face as my body eased into his. I felt peace, for the first time since I could remember. I also felt safe. He watched me, running his fingers through my hair and exploring my face with small grazes and strokes. Something inside of my chest swelled as I took him in. Every path his fingers explored left a warmth across my skin I had never experienced before. I wanted this moment to last. I wanted to stay here, with him, just like this.
“May I…may I kiss you?” I asked nervously.
His eyes dropped from my gaze as if ashamed. “I’m not going to force you to bed me so that I will keep your secret,” he said, beginning to pull away.
I tightened my grip on him. “I know that. I would like to kiss you because… because I want to.”
He peered down at me, still unsure of my motives. I moved in closer to him, running my fingertips along his lips. I could feel his warm breath against my skin. I stretched up on my tiptoes and softly brushed my lips against his, testing the waters.
His arms latched around my waist, preventing me from pulling away. We gently glided our lips across one another. The taste of him electrified every nerve in my body. I let out a moan of satisfaction. He pressed me against the wall taking my mouth harder as his tongue thrusted in and out with each passing. His body sealed me to the surface as his hands roamed over the thin fabric of my nightgown.
He pulled away, breathing in deeply from the passion we had just shared. I couldn’t help but smile up at him. He let out a small laugh before pulling me away from the wall. He kissed me again softly, stopping only to admire my face.