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“Why don’t you take off?” she suggested.
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. Leaving would be worse. My thoughts couldn’t wander too long at work. Here, I needed to be focused on what was right in front of me. “I need to do that blood draw.”
“You sure?” Her lips pinched when I nodded, but we were too short-staffed for her to argue.
I felt numb as I made my way to the other side of the ER. Each step I took away from the surgical suite, my heart raced faster instead of slowing. I ignored it as I gathered the child’s chart and headed to do my job.
That was all I could do. There was no other choice. Not that I was ever very good at making choices. One of the many reasons I was good at what I did. There wasn’t a second guess in emergency medicine. Lives were on the line.
Like Channing’s life.
I shook the thought from my head as I stepped into the exam room. The little girl, only four, was cuddled in her mother’s arms on the bed, eyes glued to the television in the corner. Her mom looked up, sighing with relief. They’d been waiting a while. Normally I might feel badly about that, but tonight I envied their safe cocoon.
“Sorry for the wait.”
“It’s okay,” the mom said, but she sounded tired. That’s how I’d felt before shit hit the fan tonight.
Behind me, the bright sounds of a cartoon were completely at odds with my pounding heart. I asked a few routine questions as I pulled on a fresh set of gloves.
The little girl burrowed into her mother’s arms as I took the stool by the bed.
“What are those for?” she whimpered, studying the tubes in my hand with suspicion. Her eyes widened as I leaned to tie the tourniquet around her tiny arm and she jerked away. “It’s going to hurt! What is it?”
Probably. Needles, like much of life, stung. Like finding out your kid brother had been shot. That he was a corpse walking. Because owing Lachlan Gage was a death sentence. I forced a smile. “I’m going to tell you everything I’m doing, okay?”
Her dry lower lip trembled. Suspected dehydration, I reminded myself. A life I could save. Right here in front of me. Unlike the one down the hall.
The one I was responsible for now that Gran was gone.
“This is going to pinch just a little but will make you feel better, okay?” I asked the girl, holding out the rubber tourniquet.
When she eventually nodded, I gently reached out and wrapped it around her small arm, careful to keep the rubber over the sleeve of her shirt so it pinched less. I tugged one side over and under the other, and the girl’s chin quivered but she didn’t jerk away again.
I took the time to explain everything I was doing, gaining the little girl’s trust inch by inch, and eventually we were done. Blood drawn and IV fluids dripping.
“Thank you,” the mom said softly. Her shoulders sagged.
“The hard part is over,” I promised.
The little girl cowered into her mother, and my heart broke a little. It would pass. Tomorrow, she wouldn’t even remember this. She would be home. She would be safe. But for kids like Channing, like me, there had never been a home. There still wasn’t. Channing was the closest thing I had to a family—to a home. And tomorrow, he would be recovering in a hospital bed, and he definitely wouldn’t be safe.
Haley appeared as I dropped off the specimens I’d collected. Her face was drawn, and my heart nearly stopped until she said, “They got everything. We’re just waiting for a bed to open up.”
“Can I talk to him?” She was the charge nurse, and I was on shift. I waited for her to order me to another room or to encourage me to head home for the night, but thankfully she didn’t.
“He’s out of it,” she warned me. “Garcia gave him morphine.”
“Good,” I said grimly. “Maybe he’ll be honest for once.”
Getting him to confess to how this happened was the only way I might find a way to help him. I yanked off my gloves, balled them up, and tossed them in the waste container nearby. I sucked air into my lungs until they burned before turning to walk slowly toward the VIP rooms.
He owed Lachlan Gage money. If this was about debt, we could figure it out. I wouldn’t allow Channing to lose his life over money, and that’s what working for the Gage family meant. I didn’t have much. I didn’t have any savings, really. But I did have one thing that might be valuable. I wasn’t sure it was enough. I wouldn’t know until he opened up.
A security guard nodded at me as I approached the recovery room, and I forced myself to swallow, my mouth dry, before walking in.
I reached his side, and Channing gave me a weak smile from under his oxygen mask.
“How much do you owe?” I asked, my voice calmer than I felt.