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“The Terra Court was in ruins. Everyone was dead. So, I took the Nether Court throne, and I decided I would rule by keeping emotions out of it. I would make the decision that was right for those under my protection.” He raked a hand through his hair and released a heavy sigh. “And I’ve been fucking up that policy ever since. Fiona left because she had too much Terran in her. She never felt comfortable in the shadows. But Ciara and Shaw stuck around, which I’ve never understood.”
Lach drank in the night air. “I’ve tried to keep them out of things, mostly because it’s easier to make emotionless decisions when you don’t care. But since I met you, since you begged for your brother’s life, I’ve had to face the truth.”
I raised my brows. “And what is that?”
“You fought for him, and I understood that. I felt the same—something I’d ignored for so long.” He dragged a slow breath into his lungs. “I told myself that I listened to your plea because of the Equinox or because my mother would have wanted me to. None of that was it. I listened because you fucking cared, and gods, I’d forgotten what that looked like, what it felt like.”
“But it’s not why you made the bargain?” I guessed.
The corner of his mouth lifted, but he sounded hollow when he spoke. “Looking for the key to your freedom, princess?”
“No.” I meant it.
“I made the bargain because I liked you and because you had something I needed.” His eyes darted to mine. “And within fifteen minutes of knowing you, I thought I’d made a terrible mistake.”
Laughter burst out of me. “The feeling was mutual.” Our relationship had started based on trickery, but that didn’t have to continue. It couldn’t if this was going anywhere. So I made a confession of my own. “I spent all week thinking about you. I’ve never let a man get close to me. I mean, I’ve had sex,” I added quickly, biting back a smile when he growled a little. “I kept telling myself that was all this was between us, and when Channing showed up today and called me out, I panicked. Because if it was just something physical, I wouldn’t have cared. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m new to this.”
Whatever this was.
He held my gaze. “I’ve been dealing with a similar problem since the day we met.”
I arched a brow, my heart pounding too hard for me to dare speak.
“I like you more than I planned,” he confided.
I braced my hands on the railing to keep my legs from giving out. “That feeling is mutual, too.”
“Cate, there’s a reason I keep a distance from people. It’s safer for them. Not everyone believes I won’t go after the Terra Court, even all these years later.” His eyes skirted to the darkness, looking past it to that faraway place where he had lost some piece of himself. “I can’t. I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t. I’m sorry that I made that bargain, that I dragged you into this for my own selfish reasons.”
“I don’t want you to stay away from me.”
He turned to me, something unreadable on his face. Tattoos flashed across his neck, his jaw, as if his thoughts were racing as rapidly as my heart. His throat slid, something desperate and hungry etched in his eyes. We were on very dangerous ground now. One wrong step and…
“You have no idea what you’re saying,” he murmured.
But I did. I took a step closer to him, and another, until there was no more distance between us. He sucked in a ragged breath, those green eyes searching mine for permission to cross that final line. Not just from me but from himself.
“How many times do I have to tell you I can take care of myself?” My hand fisted in his shirt. If he wouldn’t cross the line, I would. “Now take me to bed.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
I didn’t have to ask twice.
Lach captured my mouth, a rough hand cradling one cheek, the other wrapping around my neck as though now that he had me, he wasn’t letting go. This kiss was different. He clearly had been holding back before. And I gave in to his lips, to the ravaging sweep of his tongue over mine, to the urgency building between us.
His body was hard against mine, and I sank my fingers into his broad, muscled shoulders, urging him closer. With his mouth on mine, I couldn’t remember why I had ever resisted him before, why I had ever thought this was wrong when it was so very right.
Lach’s hands released my face to grip my hips, sliding lower to cup my ass and lift me off my feet, my legs circling around his waist as the kiss deepened. I was dimly aware of a spinning sensation that I thought was in my head until my back collided with glass. Its coolness made me wince.
He paused. “Do you want to stop?”
I knew he would stop despite the palpable need burning in his eyes. He would end this the minute I asked. I nipped his lower lip with my teeth and pinned him with a lingering look. “I don’t want to stop.”
He licked that lip like he was savoring the sting of my bite. I was going to devour him.
“Or we can lose the window?” he offered.
“I don’t care as long as we start losing clothes,” I snapped, earning a rough laugh. He pressed me harder against the window, his hips pinning me to it so his hands could join the fun. I moaned into his mouth, my palms splaying against the window, which provided a means to buck against him and discover he was rock fucking hard. I whimpered despite the layers of clothing between us and dragged myself along his impressive length.