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Katie reached over and trailed her finger on Wil’s bare waist where her shirt had ridden up. “The problem is, I wasn’t a Girl Scout.”
Wil laughed and leaned up on her headboard to unwrap her sandwich. “I think I can take care of myself.” She deliberately licked her sandwich provocatively. “Also, I won my Girl Scouting Gold Award, so.You’resafe.”
Katie snorted, then adjusted her position and put her feet in Wil’s lap, the same way she always had when they were in high school.
“Okay. I’m ready,” she said.
“For?”
“To tell you about Ben.” Katie finished the last bite of her sandwich. Wil could tell she was trying to keep things light, her calves pressing against Katie’s thighs, but her eyes were sad.
“You don’t have to.”
Katie looked down and laughed, but it sounded more like a big sigh. “I do, because…” Katie didn’t look up. “Because I don’t want it to be thirteen years again. I don’t seem to know anything right now, but I know that. I know I want you to know me. Like we knew each other.”
“I’d like that.” Wil swallowed over a lump in her throat.
Somehow, the way Katie had saidI want you to know me,the translation wasn’t,From now on, I want you to know me.
It sounded a lot more like,For right now.
Wil wasn’t sure what part of her heart had gotten ahead of the basic facts of Katie’s visit and Katie’s life, but it was a verybigpart of her heart.
“I’ve never talked about him anywhere,” Katie said. “I’ve told my mom a few things, but I know she wouldn’t have shared.” She looked at Wil with her eyebrows drawn together. “What do you know?”
Wil thought about that for a moment. “The official story, I guess. That he discovered you at summer stock when you were eighteen years old and he was thirty,butyou were wise beyond your years and so wildly talented you would be wasted in North Carolina, and so he had no choice but to whisk you away to Hollywood.”
“What did you hear from Beanie or my mom?”
“About the breakup? Only that you were having a very hard time. Beanie told me not to believe anything I saw or I read, but she also didn’t provide any alternate explanation. I did ask her if I could go out and see you or call you or write or something. I was in college. I wanted to. I’d missed you, and knowing you were hurting was awful. But Diana told me it wasn’t a good idea. Through Beanie.”
“God, really?” Katie looked away and squeezed her eyes shut. “I would have loved so much to see you. I probably would have climbed into your lap and cried all over you and not even been able to tell you what happened, but it would have been so good to justhaveyou.”
Wil put her hand on Katie’s foot, finding a rapid pulse. “I’m sorry, then. I’m so sorry.” She didn’t let herself get distracted bythe small flare of frustration that Diana had prevented her from comforting Katie. It was a long time ago, and everyone had been doing their best.
After what Wil had seen in Chicago, she got why Diana protected Katie so fiercely.
“It’s so much the most ridiculous, worst pile of crap and doom.” Katie sighed. “What did you gather from what you read and saw all this time? Go ahead. Say the whole thing.”
“Well, when you made it to Hollywood, he got you your first movie, which you were nominated for an Oscar for, and he introduced you to everyone important because he’s one of the most important men in Hollywood, and he fell in love with you and was your first everything. He gave you your career. He gave you love as the other half of one of the most glamorous couples in the world.”
Katie wrinkled her nose. “Go on. You can say the rest of it.”
“And then you became wildly ambitious, jealous of his costars, immature, and you left him. You haven’t been able to have a normal relationship since.” Wil said this in a rush, her nose burning because it felt like a betrayal.
But of course Katie smiled.
“You’re right,” she said. “That is the official story. Ben’s story. It’s a love story.” She met Wil’s eyes. “Mystory is an abuse story.”
Wil squeezed Katie’s foot, keeping steady pressure so Katie would know that Wil wasn’t afraid to hear this. She wasn’t afraid to know.
She’d suspected, of course. More than suspected. But to hear Katie say it rearranged so many things inside of Wil at the same time, it felt like her heart would have to learn how to beat again.
Wil leaned up and reached for Katie, who came to lie beside her. “You don’t have to talk about it,” she said. “I would never make that a condition of anything. Of friendship. Of anything.”
They were side by side, facing each other, inches apart. Somany times, they’d lain like this as girls, talking to each other. Telling each other everything.
“I know,” Katie said. “But I’m going to. Tell me first, though, what your number-one question is. That will help me start, because I don’t like this. I like being in your bed, and how your pillow smells like you, and how much light is in this room, and the way Almond Butter is snoring like she needs an oil change. But this is a story I hate.”