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“So I’m the winner!” Katie said triumphantly. “It’s an affair.”
“At first,” Robin agreed.
“A-ha!” Wil was laughing, but didn’t even care, because Katie’s hair smelled like Wil’s own shampoo, which Katie had borrowed this morning, and it gave her feelings—rich and big and grateful and horny feelings—that Katie was claimed and cozied into Wil’s life in this manner. Last night, she and Katie had hung out with Cy and Joel and Angela at Joel’s farmhouse with all of Joel’s fosteranimals. Wil had flirted outrageously with Cy, and Katie had told her later that she had been wrecked with delighted concupiscence the entire night over watching Wil’smovesandcoolnessfrom afar.
Wil kissed the top of Katie’s head, huffing her shampoo smell.
“So Andrew’s happy,” Robin said. “His teaching notches up from grossly incompetent to mediocre. His wife is happy, because Andrew isn’t talking about divorce anymore and is probably a better dad, because men. And I hope Jess is happy. She’s the one who can be most confusing to me, to be honest. But of course it isn’t long before Jess and Cynthia figure it out.”
“Not wily,” Katie said.
“Not at all. My friend Carla was at Festival Foods one Saturday morning—she’s a science teacher at East and my best friend—and she ran into Andrew. She was talking to him, as one does, and then Cynthia comes up, so she’s talking to both of them. Everything’s cool. Then she carries on, is in the frozen section, and she sees Andrew again. Pinching the ass of Jess. She’s appalled—and I should say here that Carla has no filter and assigns all consequences to men—so she goes tearing around Festival, looking for Cynthia. Finds her. Tells her that she saw Andrew getting handsy with another woman. Cynthia raises one eyebrow, cool as a fucking beer stein, and says,I know.”
Wil burst out laughing. “I’m so happy right now. Sam, I need another one of these.” Wil held up her empty crème br?lée ramekin. Sam’s hobby was baking, and he was magical at it.
Sam got up, collected glasses and plates and Katie’s empty lemonade bottle, and disappeared into the kitchen.
Robin’s eyes were bright with conspiratorial excitement. “Now, Carla doesn’t have a chance to get the whole story, and we’re left in the dark for a fewyears,you guys. I did my best. I’m ashamed I couldn’t figure out more. All I can say is, if you can’t figure something out, assume it’s because a woman doesn’t want youto, because men can’t hide anything for shit.” She pointed one finger at Katie. “Which, speaking of—and I’ve never mentioned this, but I can’tnot,because I’m all worked up talking about Cook—I’d been listening to Ben Adelsward talk about you for years and applying a very jaded perspective to his bullshit. Like, yes, Ben, keep telling me about how your eighteen-year-old girlfriend has failed to appreciate your unique qualities as a life partner. What was that again about how she left you in the middle of the night? Was she barefoot also? Did she have to crawl over broken glass, you massive, arrogant prick?”
“Move to Los Angeles,” Katie said, laughing. “I can’t be without you.”
Robin grinned. “So say many. I’m pretty great. My point is just that I know it wasn’t just me who felt that way about Ben. It was lots of us.Lotsof us were waiting to hear you confirm what we all knew, and anybody who wasn’t was being deliberately obtuse.”
Katie wound a strand of hair around her finger. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Anytime.” Robin dusted her hands together. “All right. So it’s also the case that Carla and I were being deliberately obtuse about Cynthia and Jess. They had to tell me the deal themselves. Then it was so obvious.”
“How did this happen?” Wil’s mind was racing with possibilities, and she almost wanted to ask Robinnotto tell them so she could think about it until the next time they got together, just to enjoy the mull. Katie would never go for it, though. “Keep in mind, at this point, I would believe anything you said for any reason.”
“I was at a conference, a teaching conference, in Minneapolis. The school had gotten some grant and was sending more of us around for professional development, so it was a pretty big deal. A hotel room, conference hotel, buffet—it takes so little to keep teachers happy, honestly. Andrew was at the conference too, andyou could pay extra to bring your spouse. Cynthia was there. And then I ran into Jess at the hotel bar, late.” Robin grinned.
“Oh!” Wil shouted, delighted with this plot twist. “Oh! Oh!”
“Yes. But wouldn’t you know it? She wasn’t meeting Andrew there. She was meetingCynthia. I had parked myself at the end of the bar to monitor the situation behind a pillar, veryHarriet the Spy,and Cynthia comes up. They hug, then proceed to have a drink, laughing, what have you.”
“This really happened to you!” Katie said. “I love that this happened. I’m so overjoyed with this story. Tell us every single detail.”
“Obviously, I can’t stand it anymore,” Robin says. “I walk over and am basically like, ‘I’m dying. What’s the deal?’”
“That would be the only thing to do.” Katie nodded.
Wil closed her eyes so she could savor the scene for a moment—Robin Dahl, in one of her signature outrageous outfits, stepping out from behind whatever hotel bar pillar she’d been hiding herself behind so that she could walk up to two women who were near-strangers and insist they tell her the details of their most private emotional and sexual arrangements.
Also, Katie Price saying,That would be the only thing to do,as though Robin’s move hadn’t been completely shocking.
Wil loved this. She loved Katie. She loved having clever, interesting friends like Robin and Sam, Cy and Joel and Angela, and of course Madelynn and April. Sometimes, when she took a hike in the hills behind Katie’s house, she talked out loud to her dad, telling him the most interesting and provocative details of her new life with Katie, the ones that would have made him pontificate or roar with laughter. It just felt right to Wil, now, to make him a part of her happiness.
“At first they were kind of cagey,” Robin said. “Understandably. But it’s me, so eventually I get them to tell me. Turns out, Cynthia had found out about Jess basically right away. Because men,and because Andrew was so happy. And I meanhappy. Like, his and Cynthia’s marriage andindoor sportswere better. There were moves happening in their indoor sports that he had not previously attempted or proved himself capable of. That kind of thing.”
“Ew.” Wil shuddered. “Just, ew.”
“Mm-hmm. So she calls Jess, and at first Jess is denying it, but then they start talking. Really talking. They like each other. And Jess tells her that she had a horrible marriage, and a horrible divorce, and she never wants to get married again, but she likes the companionship and sex on her terms, and maybe the both of them can work out an arrangement.”
“They are going to fucking time-share Andrew Cook?” Wil’s bafflement was utter. “Like, anyone else on earth, fine. But Mr. Cook? What?”
“I can’t account for anyone’s predilections,” Robin said. “Cynthia had almost finished raising two kids, she had the job of her dreams, and she wanted to focus on her own shit without dealing with men or dating. She wanted Andrew Cook to remain her husband so she didn’t have to deal with the enormous fucking hassle he would be if hewasn’ther husband. Jess was done with it all except for this one thing she wanted, but which she didn’t want inher housepermanently, ever,ever. What I am saying is, it was all less about Andrew, and maybe not about him at all, and more about these two women finding each other, understanding andbelievingwhat the other woman wanted, and realizing they had a way to give that thing to the other woman without a lot of cost to themselves. They saw that as an opportunity, and a rare one.”
“Oh my God.” Wil wiped suddenly at her eyes. “I’m crying.”